Discernment is an important spiritual art. , in life, it is good to know what to ignore. It’s an important lesson I have learned the hard way. Before you engage in a fight that will cost you time, energy, emotion, and passion, think about its cost.
Is it really worth it? Is this not another distraction meant to drive you away from your destiny? Maybe someone is talking about you, or a competitor at work is spreading rumors about you, or your spouse has said something he or she shouldn’t have said. If you engage in such battles and spend your precious time and energy fighting them, what will you gain? You don’t have to defend yourself all the time from people who love fighting worthless battles.
One of the costs of fighting needless and pointless battles is the loss of God’s plans for us. When we spend time trying to prove ourselves or win the approval of others, we become like the Pharisees who played to the gallery.
The distraction of all distractions! We need to choose our battles wisely. If we want to live happy, positive lives, we should try not to be in a battle mode all the time. Life is not a battle; it’s more like a dance that starts, stops, and begins again. And with each dance, we get better and better. If we make the mistake of engaging in every battle that befalls us, we will not have the grace to dance and to see the sunshine in our lives.
Take the example of David in the Bible. He was just a shepherd boy. His father asked him to take his brothers’ sheep to the field. He focused on his job and became quite good at it even to the point of fighting off lions and wolves. Eventually, he even defeated Goliath. Why did he succeed? He chose the right battles to fight. When David set out to confront Goliath, everybody laughed at him. To them, he was just a clown running to his death. But David had calculated the cost and weighed his chances before God.
David knew that this was one battle he had to fight but that God was on his side. He chose five smooth stones. And we know the rest of the story. Nowadays, it is easy to feel offended by others, and we end up holding grudges for years. Maybe someone did something to offend us, talked to us in what we considered to be the wrong way, or looked at us in what we took to be a mean fashion.
The person moves on, but we are stuck with playing a battle scenario over and over in our minds. We spend way too much time and energy rehearsing what we should have said or done or what we will say or do the next time that person comes our way. We continue to fight the battle even if our adversary has moved on. We end up fighting shadows and ghosts. That is a worthless battle that takes a lot of energy from us, and it becomes a distraction to us and a big obstacle to our achieving our goals in life.
Reflect on your life and see how much tension you are bringing home that could be adjusted with a minor change in attitude. From what I have experienced these past years, it’s very easy to start a fight or an argument, but it’s very difficult to end it. As Proverbs 20:3 reminds us if we want to enjoy life, we have to be peacemakers; our homes have to be places of peace. We must be good examples to our children and others of people who are able to lead good, productive, and kind lives.
My Story One cold, winter day, I realized I hadn’t slept for three days because my baby couldn’t sleep. She cried almost the whole day and night. I was angry and frustrated. It seemed nobody would listen to me when I told them something was wrong with her. On that fateful winter day, I took my baby to the camp doctor. I told him all I had been dealing with for the past three days. He started with the same old story. I became mad, angry, and more frustrated. I don’t know what got over me, but I banged my hand hard on the doctor’s table and left my baby with him. I screamed, “If anything happens to my girl, I will hold you responsible. I do not care about your status or anything. All I want is for you to examine my baby properly.’’ Those were my exact words.
I left the clinic with tears rolling down my eyes. I ran back to my room. On the way, I fell in the snow, but I didn’t feel any pain until a few days later when my knee began to swell. At the camp clinic, my mentor (or “contact person” as she was called by the government immigration department) picked up my baby and brought her to my room.
Patricia was her name. She was a very kind and compassionate woman. She did her best to calm me down. She told me she would make sure my baby received the proper treatment. I was relieved. Deep within, I was still angry at the doctors for not listening to me and persuading me to believe that all was well with my baby when I knew it wasn’t. I was deeply frustrated. I was passing through a rough, difficult patch in my life. There was a lesson for me in this painful experience that mold me into who I am today.
You want to know, how I succeed in getting past the trauma of the past. Click on the link below.
